Monday, February 23, 2009

My views on Valentines Day, dating, and guys

Ok, so I know it's a little bit late to be talking about Valentines Day, but better late than never, right?

I spent my Day in bed for the most part, crippled by a throbbing headache. Not the most preferable way to spend what is supposed to be one of the most romantic holidays of the year. However, I had the opportunity to sit and think in the solitude of my quiet house about how different things are and could be.

But for the grace of God, I could have been out on the town,'living it up' with some sleazeball of a guy, going to all the wrong places, doing all the wrong things. God's grace has allowed me to stay away from all the sinful pleasures of sin, the things that have pleasure but for a season. I have not had the misfortune of finding myself in a compromising situation with any man because of some romantic infatuation, etc.

Many people in the world, people that I work with, family members, don't understand why I don't have a boyfriend. They tell me, "Well, if you would just get out there and date..." Then what? I go to the mall and watch for some guy that catches my eye?? What would I do? They say, "Give him your phone number!" And then? Then I have a guy who may or may not be a Christan, who may or may not be pure, who may or may not be a total creep.

So many girls in this day and age find themselves trapped in abusive situations because they thought they had found themselves Prince Charming. They realize too late that this Prince of theirs is nothing but a low-down frog they kissed too soon.

I was asked, recently, why I didn't date by some girls at work. They told me that dating was fun, but I had to tell them that I didn't want it to be just fun and games, that there had to be a real interest. As Christians, we don't date, we court. The world doesn't understand that. Some Christians don't even understand it.

I told another person that I didn't want to have a boyfriend, just for the sake of having a boyfriend, just to say I have boyfriend, just to get the free chocolate, flowers, etc. I don't want to be in love with the idea of being in love, I want to be IN LOVE. They asked why there had to be love, why couldn't I just find some guy that I was comfortable with, someone I could just chill with and talk to? Well, the Lord has blessed me with a couple good guy friends that I can talk to, so why would I want or need to go sit at the mall and try to pick out one good-looking guy that could be something I already have?

I have to be completely honest. It's not always easy, waiting for God's choice...especially for us girls. I cannot speak for any guys, so if there are any guys reading this, feel free to put your input in. If you've been following my blog for any length of time, you will remember me telling you about meeting Abe. Abe and I seemed to hit it off, we talked, we prayed, we sang together...but in the end, when he called off the whole calling thing, I realized that during the time I had known him, I read my Bible more, prayed more, and that's when it hit me. I hadn't been praying that God would show me His mate for me, I had been praying that everything would work out between me and Abe!

I had my priorities wrong, and God used the most effective way to get my mind off focus of Abe, and focused back on Him. At first, I didn't understand, I was even sort of bitter, at God, at Abe, at the person who introduced us, at the entire world even. But God knew what He was doing, of course. I SAID I trusted Him...but I really didn't trust Him for EVERYTHING.

I guess I said all that to say this: Christian young ladies, it will be worth it to wait for God's One. And yes, there is only ONE. No Top Ten list, no group to pick out of, just ONE. I believe that God has a will for each of us, I don't know for sure yet what my place in this world will be, but I know God knows, and that it good enough for me. Young ladies, don't throw yourself away for instant pleasures, they go away, they fade, they will leave you feeling more empty than before. God has someone for you, don't doubt that for a second.

I am speaking as someone who is also waiting on God. I can't tell you how it feels to marry the man God chose, I can't tell you what it feels like to stand at the altar and give yourself to them man God has chosen. But I can tell you that IT WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT. Don't give up on God. He's never given up on us.

Stay put. Stay pure. Stay prepared.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

Great article! I'll be praying for you, Bethany,